What’s keeping you stuck?
You know that feeling of being called for more but not being sure what or how to get there? That feeling of being stuck but wanting to move?
Often, there’s a belief keeping you in place.
A limiting one (otherwise you’d be moving).
What you believe becomes what you experience.
We’ve heard it before:
What you think, you become.
What you feel, you attract.
What you imagine, you create.
If you want to shape your experience, you need to realize you’re the creative director of your life.
It all starts with becoming aware of the script you’re reading from and the belief fueling your experience.
Get curious, not critical.
Sound abstract? Here’s an example.
Worrying doesn’t affect the outcome or future in any way. So why worry?
The belief underpinning worry is somehow, by worrying, you’ll prevent bad shit from happening. Or it will circumvent disaster.
You’re putting all this energy into it, so it’s sure to pay back.
You’re forgoing joy in this moment hoping it will guarantee its presence in the future.
You’re negotiating with life. I’ll suffer now, so I don’t have to later. If I worry today, things will be okay tomorrow. But there’s only always today.
It’s like one of those deals you make as a kid. If I reach the top of the landing before the front door closes, I’ll safe or lucky.
Random deals made in secret to attempt to control the uncontrollable, to feel secure on this rock spinning at 1,000 mph in 1 of 125 billion galaxies.
I get it. I really do. I’m right there (also on this rock) with you.
But it doesn’t work.
If you peel back the layer of worry, you’ll hit another belief - the world is a frightening place that needs to be managed or negotiated with. That it’s out to get or punish you (this belief also might not be ‘yours’).
Worry-control-fear becomes a recipe for disaster, a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Remember, what you believe becomes what you experience.
You can become aware of the beliefs you hold that fuel behaviors and charge emotions. Then you can rewrite those beliefs.
No, it’s not as easy as I am making it sound. For sure.
But it is possible.
Doing this work can literally change your life.
What if you replace fear with trust?
What if you allow yourself to enjoy this moment right now and trust you can handle whatever comes, and the universe will serve what you need to grow, expand, evolve? That it has your back?
That you can jump into the realm of your wildest dreams and imaginings and it will work out?
You can believe whatever you want, so why not choose trust?
We never know what’s going to happen next.
This can either make you build a bunker with rows of Warhol-esque tomato soup cans or open you up to your wild bravery.
You get to decide what beliefs you hold and how you want to be with uncertainty.
I don’t know about you, but I’m not a fan of soup in a can.
I’m going for option 2 - wild bravery - and when I catch myself going to the shelter with supplies, I’ll check in and give myself what I need in that moment to feel safe:
deep breaths
a cup of matcha tea
a bear hug from my partner
a song
…whatever feels warmest that day.
Sometimes, life feels like an opening and closing. Opening your heart and yourself to life, and being aware when you start to raise the drawbridge.
Life is a heart-opening practice.
The bravest, kindest people I know open wide even after being sucker-punched by life. Probably because they’re holding the belief that life serves what they need to grow, even when it hurts. No mud, no lotus.
Or maybe they just stopped judging what’s good or bad, accepting all of what life has to offer with extended arms and an open heart.
That’s what makes life so much richer - gateau Marcel style (and if you haven’t tried it, please do).
They don’t take it personally. They’re humble enough to know they don’t know.
If this sounds like a steaming pile, try it.
That’s all I’m inviting you to do.
Experiment with it.
Get curious about what beliefs lie behind a difficult emotion.
Get curious about what story you’ve inherited or fabricated to keep yourself safe (that’s the origin story of most limiting beliefs).
Is it time to write a new one?
What could that be?
Experiment with the new belief. Experiment with opening your heart when you feel it closing, when you feel yourself disappearing or retreating.
Observe the impact. Notice any shifts.
Don’t take my word for it or anyone else’s for that matter.
Try it yourself. Make it a part of your experience and see what works or doesn’t for you.
There is no way of knowing, of creating certain safety, so might as well go for it, open heart, into the wild expanse of your dreams and delights.
FIELDWORK
✦ COACHING MOMENT ✦
Think of what you really want, more than anything.
What comes up?
Do you hear the voice of a critic, judge, naysayer?
Make a list of concerns or doubts.
What belief(s) fuels them? Is it true?
Does it serve you or limit you?
✦ DOSE OF CREATIVITY ✦
Creatively direct your life.
Create and affirm an expansive belief (i.e., the universe is conspiring in my favor)
Believe it just for one day.
Live it.
See what unfolds.
✦ NOTE TO SELF ✦
What if life is working with me, not against me?
